What You Should Know Before Entering a Hospital

1.You will be subjected to all indignities for which your nurse has time.

2.You will be summoned for tests at all hours of the day and night.

3.You will never know the results of these tests.

4.You will soon want to eat a hot dog from Nathan's.

5.The gowns are open in the back. You will get used to mooning the whole place. Actually nobody cares.

6.You will very soon be very sorry that you entered the ER in the first place.

7.You will see a doctor for 3 seconds during early morning rounds - if you happen to be awake.

8.A hospital is a metropolis. Who belongs there and who does not?

9.Your discharge will remain a secret until the minute you walk out the door.

10.You will eventually react to all the meanness heaped upon you, whether you want to or not.