Season of Redemption

May the Lord G-d take from us: hatred, contention, anger, argumentativeness, lack of gratitude, false pride, arrogance, gossip and all the rest we beg to be forgiven for on Yom Kippur. May any cancer of the body and/or soul be alleviated if not cured.

We have made it to another Season of Redemption! Boruch Hashem!!

New Day - New Friends

I have checked Google Analytics and have noticed that I have readers around the world! Would those people who hail from outside the Continent of North America please let us know how you found my blog and what about it that interests you? Thanks a lot.

To my local readers within this continent: Thanks for your abiding devotion and love.

Pre-Op or Car Wash?

Jeff and I could not help finding the following similarities and differences between the pre-op waiting area at Maimonides Hospital and your local car wash:

Blatant Similarities:
1.Occupants of four-wheeled vehicles (gurneys, autos) queue up and must wait their turns.
2.You cannot skip the line.
3.Lots of soap around.
4.Age and mental health status do not seem to be important criteria for being there.
5.Anesthesiologists appear somewhat sleepy/people who work in car washes probably drive around in clean cars.
6.There is a great deal of ethnic diversity.
7.Pine smelling things are all around.

Observable Differences:
1.Evelyn Diluccio's name probably does not inspire fear in a car wash.
2.No reading material in the pre-op.
3.No coffee in pre-op except that which is carried around by exhausted personnel.
4.Endoscopy screen in pre-op/TV screen in car wash.



(Jeff - did I forget anything? I was a little out of it at the time.)

Alive...

...still! Minus one kidney plus a traumatic short hospitalization. Thanks to everyone for your prayers and good wishes....

I Should Have Felt Bad about My Neck...

...but never gave it a second thought until Nora Ephron started her shtick.

Here are bodily parts that actually do deserve current attention:

1.t-cells
2.cerebellum
3.lymph vessels
4.beta cells
5.kidneys (much too obvious to list as #1)

Now re: my neck:

It is actually worse than Nora's .
It looks like it houses a diseased thyroid.
It looks like it belongs to a chicken that houses a diseased thyroid.
It speaks volumes (about the perils of aging).
It will be a lucky day if I am still complaining about my neck one year from now.

Re: G-d and Blessings

I have not seen the face of G-d because I do not think G-d has a face. I have, however, experienced the strength and, if you will, essence of G-d, arrogant as this may sound. And G-d is good, and G-d has some plan and knows what has to be done to bring about a particular outcome: This is what I have come to believe.

I have received the miracle of the ability to walk and talk, which I hope will not be taken from me.

I have also received a very special blessing and privilege: I am living to experience the love and praises of many wonderful people; usually the words that I hear now frequently are reserved for eulogies.

Example: Frida looked around at the plants in the living room today and said to my sister: "She loves flowers."

Loves!!! Present tense!!!!

G-d and Blessings.

Kidneys

First and foremost they are odd-shaped beans that are very good for you, except that some people have to combat their effects with prophylactic Bean-O.

The new expensive tables in all NYC classrooms are shaped like kidneys, by order of Mayor Bloomberg. The kidney shape not only encourages but also forces students to talk to each other, which is vitally important to the workshop model, currently in vogue. (Any serious pedagogue knows, however, that the best way to teach kids is to first seat them at old-fashioned desks that are nailed to the floor, thus forcing students to remain facing forward instead of one another.)

What the heck is kidney stew? Do people in the UK actually eat it? From what animal(s) do the kidneys come?

I have been told that kidney functions are very "redundant." How come? It is actually possible to live with 1/2 a kidney!

A normal kidney looks very cute and nice on a CT scan. A cancerous one looks like a water balloon.

What do they do with old, diseased kidneys? (Will part of it become a slide that I must track down and keep in my dresser drawer in case another doctor wants to see it?)

I keep telling myself that kidney surgery will not be that much worse than a C-Section, but of course there are obvious differences.

How many kidney beans must be present for a soup legally to be labeled "minestrone"?

Enough.

Cancer for Dummies (extremely preliminary)

1.Keep all scans. It is just too much trouble trying to get them from doctors.
2.Same goes for all summaries of scans.
3.Might also turn out to hold true for biopsy slides. (But for how long do those things keep?)
4.Find out who are the dingbats and who are the organized workers at each facility you must deal with.
5.Keep lists of things to do. Check off things as they are done; this will render amazing feelings of accomplishment, even if one of the items only was: "Be sure to move car to the correct side of the street before 11 A.M."
6.Appreciate all bodily functions in yourself and everyone else. Encourage people around you to do the same.
7.Do not fall for any scams. Scamsters do not respect disease. On the contrary diseases provide them with vulnerable, opportune moments.
8.No longer believe that all pain, especially lower back pain, is due to age and must be treated by your chiropractor, no matter how helpful he has seemed to be in the past.
9.On the other hand try to remember that not every tinge of pain or touch of dizziness means imminent death.
10.Try to wear your newest clothes. There may not be a lot of time left.

Remember When...

1.kidney referred to a bean that, at worst, might give you gas?
2.divorce and losing part of a pension were the most grievous things in the world that could possibly happen?
3.the most serious surgery imaginable was botox injections to eliminate frown lines?
4.the prayer to be said after peeing seemed a bit odd?
5.the word "cancer" had a certain ring to it, especially in the hands, say, of Susan Sontag?
6.we believed there might actually be a "war on cancer" somewhere in the world?
7.shaytels were optional for people like me?
8.we resisted going for mammograms because we were afraid they delivered too much radiation and therefore were part of some plot against women?
9.we thought that drinking Poland Spring water would prevent cancer?
10.haircuts were an annoyance?

Within This Strange Altered Context...

..there is good news!

The cancer is in only one kidney, which will be removed asap. Radiation will be administered to my head to zap any micrometastases; new genetic drug might be used later on (to protect the second kidney?).

The oncologist thought that this was very good news! (No kidding!!)