for Zachary, 2/5/12

You cried tonight:
big swollen tears fell from
your almond eyes.

Did you know
that five years ago today
your Nana almost died
from a brain tumor
that, once removed,
turned her into someone else?

No, you could not
know this because
your supreme goodness,
your premature empathy
and the purest of souls
makes me laugh
and play and comfort you,
although I bleed inside
my tortured heart.

When I am with you,
you make me feel
whole again.

I wanted to take your tears
and add them to my own
until water flowed
from the deep, deep well
that replaced my soul.
Your perfect face
so strained with pain
made me forget
that in a few years
you might not even
remember my name.

Only you, my darling, matter.
You, with your Dora's map of goodness
know how to reach our hearts
and make us praise each day
we can watch you at play.

So I tried to wipe away
those big bubbling tears
and cheer you the way
you clear any cloudy day.

But alas, I could console you
only so much
by patting your back
and counting the piggies
on your perfect feet.

Sleep well tonight;
and tomorrow be well
my sweet, sweet Zach.

em