Friday, April 6, 2007

Cancer:Stages

1.Shock - I am under water. Despite the ocean in my ears, I can still vaguely hear people trying to talk to me about cancer. The following lines:"The stiff heart questions,/"Was it He that forebore/And yesterday or centuries before?" (See Emily Dickinson) keep intoning inside of what appears still to be my mind.

2.Denial - They are trying to relate the cancer to me; but they are obviosuly wrong.

3.Bargaining - I will be the best person in the world if they will only stop connecting the cancer with my name!

4.Depression - If I shut down, I will not feel the terrible pain. I will not even have to care how old and ugly and wrinkled I am
becoming from weeping and frowning all the time, Nobody will care; not even me. (Ah,depression!).

5.Anger - Why me?

6.Acceptance - I am in for the fight of my life.

7.Bitterness - Why me? (Revisited in a slightly less hysterical manner.)

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