Wednesday, March 14, 2007


First and foremost they are odd-shaped beans that are very good for you, except that some people have to combat their effects with prophylactic Bean-O.

The new expensive tables in all NYC classrooms are shaped like kidneys, by order of Mayor Bloomberg. The kidney shape not only encourages but also forces students to talk to each other, which is vitally important to the workshop model, currently in vogue. (Any serious pedagogue knows, however, that the best way to teach kids is to first seat them at old-fashioned desks that are nailed to the floor, thus forcing students to remain facing forward instead of one another.)

What the heck is kidney stew? Do people in the UK actually eat it? From what animal(s) do the kidneys come?

I have been told that kidney functions are very "redundant." How come? It is actually possible to live with 1/2 a kidney!

A normal kidney looks very cute and nice on a CT scan. A cancerous one looks like a water balloon.

What do they do with old, diseased kidneys? (Will part of it become a slide that I must track down and keep in my dresser drawer in case another doctor wants to see it?)

I keep telling myself that kidney surgery will not be that much worse than a C-Section, but of course there are obvious differences.

How many kidney beans must be present for a soup legally to be labeled "minestrone"?



Jeff'y said...

When eating steak and kidney pie, the kidneys likely come from the same beast as the steak. If that's any help.

Anna said...

As to redundant kidneys, hurrah for redundancy. I've heard it argued that the absence of a backup heart is such an obvious flaw in the design of the human body that it disproves the existence of God.

As to the fate of surgically removed kidneys, I'm fairly sure they wind up served with custard in British pubs.